Last month, I posted about being newly diagnosed with ADD and the sudden changes brought on by the medication. And since then I haven’t posted.
I’m keeping a journal of my experiences. It started as a way to track med usage and response as a part of the titration process (the medical word for adjusting the dose to the optimal range) but turned into a place where I could collect the meaningful things I’ve been going through. But what I’ve found is that the wisdom I’m encountering is merely the first layer. I’m already looking back at that last post and thinking, “Well, yeah, but actually…” Nothing huge, but a lot of instances of finding there’s a lot more to it.
Overall, things are great. Life is still a completely different experience than it was a little more than a month ago but I’m discovering not all is happiness and light. And that’s OK.
Previously, any sort of down side or significant challenge was enough for me to question and ultimately abandon whatever plan or project I had undertaken. Today, I’ve been encountering these unexpected challenges – like recognizing and changing behavior patterns that have outlived their usefulness – and running into the same feelings. It’s an uncomfortable mix of dismay, regret, shame, and whatever else arises; a mix that would have easily had me raising the Fuck It Flag, no matter the goal. Now I look at it and recognize that whatever is bringing up all those discomforting emotions is something that will stand in the way of what I want to do until I deal with.
So I figure out how to deal with it, or at least try with varying levels of success – which is apparently how life is supposed to work.
Work is great and I’ve been working on some cool projects lately. Some I can hopefully share soon, for others it may be a while. And I’ve secured a hockey announcing gig for next season – unless something even cooler comes along. Yes, a lot of vagueness and no details – such is The Biz. Of course, I will share (i.e.: brag) as soon as I can.
Life is suddenly good and I’m digging in. Hope you are too.